The Science of How to Find Fulfillment

I am an aging scientist so the science of how to find fulfillment appeals to me. I want to find fulfillment because fulfillment is a wiser goal than happiness which is just an emotion (1). Five-time New York Times best-selling author Brene Brown describes happiness as “feeling pleasure often related to the immediate environment or current circumstances (2).” So, happiness is a reaction to a situation and we cannot always control the circumstances that we find ourselves in like waking up to a flooded basement from a backed-up septic tank – yuck! But fulfillment comes from recognizing our unique and meaningful impact on a project or activity, in a role or life area, of our life at a transition point, or of our entire life in retrospect (3). So, our contribution determines fulfillment and can be assessed at various points in our lives which means you do not need to be old like me to find fulfillment. We cannot control when we will feel happy but fulfillment can be found if we stop to assess how fulfilled we are feeling and then take corrective action based on that assessment.

Fulfillment is a direction not a destination in the same way that environmental sustainability is a direction and not a destination. Sure, each fulfillment and environmental sustainability has an ideal endpoint. The ideal endpoint for fulfillment is at the end of your life you want to feel that you lived a full and worthwhile life. For environmental sustainability, the ideal endpoint is you want society consuming natural resources at a rate that sustains human life but allows the replenishment of our natural ecosystems without damage. We can make choices day-to-day that move us in the direction of the ideal endpoint but that do not guarantee that endpoint. But how do we make the best decisions to stay on course whether the long-term goal is fulfillment or environmental sustainability? You need to understand three things to make informed decisions towards a future goal. First, you need to understand the things that logically precede the goal. Second, you need to understand the things that produce the goal. And third, you need to understand the components to realizing the goal for monitoring progress. This post shares what scientists so far understand are the facilitators of fulfillment, the sources of fulfillment, and a way to assess fulfillment.

Facilitators of Fulfillment
Facilitators of fulfillment help guide you on your journey to finding fulfillment. Facilitators of fulfillment are not necessary conditions for finding fulfillment but they can be helpful to the journey. There are many ways to facilitate fulfillment based on research. The ways to facilitate fulfillment can be categorized as social resources, psychological capabilities, personality characteristics, and quality-of-life considerations.
Social resources can help facilitate fulfillment because social resources are a key aspect of well-being and fulfillment means a life well lived. Neuroscientists are uncovering more and more about the importance of social well-being to our survival (4). For example, social neuroscientists have discovered a network of regions in the brain that are activated during social interactions. In fact, scientists have found that our default mode of thinking is social, which means that we are wired to think socially as our best chance for survival. One type of social resource that facilitates fulfillment is having strong, healthy relationships that provide joy in your life and that you can turn to when times are tough either inside or outside your family. Another type of social resource that facilitates fulfillment is the sense of belonging that comes from being a member of several different social groups or communities. A final type of social resource that facilitates fulfillment is a loving and supportive childhood experience.

Psychological capabilities can help facilitate fulfillment because our mental state determines our behaviors which can move us towards or away from fulfillment. One psychological capability that facilitates fulfillment is self-forgiveness because fulfillment involves becoming more of who you are meant to become especially in the face of perceived failures or setbacks. It can be tempting to blame yourself for a failure or setback but it is important to redirect that blame energy to self-forgiveness and what you can learn from the experience so you can develop and continue your fulfillment journey. Another psychological capability that facilitates fulfillment is self-acceptance which helps you find your uniqueness. It is our unique and meaningful impacts that lead to fulfillment. A final psychological capability that facilitates fulfillment is confronting and overcoming difficulties which takes resilience and persistence or what some call grit (5). In our modern world, working with others is often more challenging than the work itself. Fulfillment takes meaningful impact and meaning comes from benefiting others. So, grit is needed to take on the type of challenging work that will benefit others.

Personality characteristics can help facilitate fulfillment because they influence our behavior in different situations and behaviors can move us closer to or further away from fulfillment. One personality characteristic that facilitates fulfillment is gratitude for one’s life which nurtures a positive outlook. A positive outlook fuels the motivation needed to stay on the journey to find fulfillment. Another personality characteristic that facilitates fulfillment is experiencing more positive emotions than negative emotions on average. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a psychology professor, has developed the Broaden-and-Build Theory of positive emotions (6). The Broaden-and-Build Theory says that personal resources are accrued during states of positive emotions that lead to long-lasting personal growth. The types of personal resources accessed with positive emotions are new actions, ideas, and social bonds which lead to personal growth such as building an individual’s physical, intellectual, and creative abilities. The type of work deserving of the recognition that goes along with fulfillment takes building your abilities. A final personality characteristic that facilitates fulfillment is taking responsibility for shaping your own life and for the consequences of your behaviors. Shaping your own life is important because fulfillment does not just happen – you have to put effort in to find fulfillment.

Quality-of-life considerations can help facilitate fulfillment because quality of life is proportional to the quality of our relationships which, in turn, facilitate fulfillment as part of our overall well-being (7). One quality-of-life consideration that facilitates fulfillment is financial security. It is hard to think about finding fulfillment if you are worried about a place to live or putting food on the table. Another quality-of-life consideration that facilitates fulfillment is the autonomy to choose educational and professional opportunities as well as having access to those opportunities. New opportunities supply the growth needed to find fulfillment. A final quality-of-life consideration is a healthy balance between work time and personal time. You need sufficient personal time to assess your level of fulfillment and then take corrective actions based on that assessment.

Sources of Fulfillment
Sources of fulfillment are multiple paths to fulfillment which can be prioritized depending on what resonates most with you. Research finds that a principal source of fulfillment is from relationships and community. A psychology researcher found a correlation between the number of different social groups you belong to and your physical health (8). This research study also concluded from a literature review that at least three strong social relationships are needed to be able to gain the health benefits associated with social well-being. Of course, you first need to make social connections before one or more of those connections can blossom into a strong relationship. Further, a networking expert claims that the most successful people tend to belong to seven different communities or groups on average (9).

A second strong source of fulfillment is occupation. I believe that occupation is more challenging to navigate today than when my dad was in the workforce. My dad retired in 1995 and spent his entire career with one company advancing in his role as an engineer to his last position as Chief Engineer. I have already held 9 different positions across three different organizations over my so far 35-year career. In fact, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics finds that people born between 1956 and 1964 held an average of 14 different jobs between the ages of 18 and 56 (10). I have been able to identify what I like and do not like by doing different jobs so changing jobs has been helpful to my fulfillment journey.

A third source of fulfillment is recreational activities. For me, this would include riding my bike along Lake Champlain, photographing nature, and making jewelry. For my husband, this would include downhill skiing, hiking, and generating music with synthesizers. Recreational activities are things you really enjoy doing that are part of your downtime but not part of your current occupation.

A fourth source of fulfillment is spirituality or acting on our interconnectedness with other people and the universe. Spirituality can be pursued by practicing an organized religion. Spirituality can also be pursued through storytelling because long before there were formal religions, people used storytelling as a vehicle to think about others and about beings beyond the self (11). Another way to pursue spirituality is to nurture self-transcendent positive emotions (STPEs). STPEs are experienced by a display of physical beauty or displays of talent and moral beauty by others that inspire you to become a better person (12).A final way to pursue spirituality is through spiritual practices that help you connect with something bigger than yourself, such as a family, community, or divine being. There are many different spiritual practices to choose from and explore to find what is most helpful for you to connect with your inner propensity to do good for others (13).

There are other sources of fulfillment in addition to spirituality, recreational activities, occupation, and relationships and community. Other sources of fulfillment are learning and development, civic engagement, partnership like marriage, and parenting. Fulfillment is a personal journey that is not about checking all the boxes for all the different sources of fulfillment. Fulfillment is a personal journey that is about focusing on the sources of fulfillment that most resonate with you.

A Way to Assess Fulfillment
One way to measure fulfillment is with the Fulfilled Life Scale (14). The Fulfilled Life Scale assesses your degree of fulfillment with your life at the time you take the assessment. Fulfillment, in turn, comes from recognizing the unique and meaningful impact of your life. You assess the recognition of your life’s impacts by how you feel about your life or by affective factors. You understand the nature of how your life impacts others by assessing how you think about your impact or by cognitive factors. Thus, the Fulfilled Life Scale or FLS is composed of 8 affective items and 24 cognitive items. The 8 affective items assess the presence of positive emotions for your lived life as well as the absence of negative emotions for your lived life. The 24 cognitive items assess the following: the level of authenticity of your life, the degree to which you have impacted the lives of others in a positive way, the extent to which you have lived a life that matters to the well-being of others, how worthwhile your pursuits have been, and how well you have lived your life. Below is a list of the items on the 2022 version of the Fulfilled Life Scale.

1. I could show my uniqueness
2. I was able to show my true ability in life.
3. I took advantage of my opportunities in life
4. I could realize my own dreams
5. I have had the courage to be as I really am.
6. I have been able to pursue my passions.
7. I could do in life that which I was best suited for.
8. I have led my life in a way that has deeply suited me
9. I have used opportunities to contribute to others’ well-being.
10. I was able to leave a positive mark with my life on people in my environment.
11. I could make a positive contribution to other people’s welfare.
12. It was important to me to contribute something to the success of our society.
13. I have used my abilities to contribute to the common good.
14. I have significantly supported other people in their development.
15. I could contribute to the success of other people’s lives.
16. I have lived for a purpose that goes beyond my life.
17. The efforts in life have been worthwhile.
18. I have the certainty that I have lived for the right things.
19. I have done something valuable with my life.
20. I can look back on a life well lived
21. Even in the difficult times in life, I have been able to recognize meaning and purpose.
22. My life has been worthwhile
23. I have experienced my life as meaningful.
24. I have realized what really matters in life.
25. I feel deep inner contentment.
26. I feel in harmony with myself and the lived life.
27. I have inner peace.
28. I feel great gratitude.
29. I feel fulfilled.
30. I feel deep regret. (R)
31. I feel disappointed. (R)
32. I feel rather empty. (R)

To assess your current level of fulfillment, rank each item above on a scale from 0 for this does not apply to me at all right now to 10 for this completely applies to me right now. Review items 1 through 29 for low scores and select the ones that are most important or concerning to you. Think about what is causing the low scores you have selected and how to increase those low scores moving forward. Also review items 30 through 32 for high scores and think about what is causing the high scores and how to lower those scores.

Summary of How to Find Fulfillment
Fulfillment is a wiser goal than happiness because happiness is short-lived and dependent on circumstances beyond your control while fulfillment can be assessed and improved over time. The key features of fulfillment that distinguish it from happiness are wholeness, fit, and value (15). Wholeness is contributing your uniqueness to the well-being of others. Fit is making an impact that is meaningful to you. Value is viewing your life as worthwhile. Further, the Fulfilled Life Scale has been found to predict mental well-being! There are factors that facilitate fulfillment that may not be in your control like the following: a loving and supportive childhood experience, being a member of several different social groups or communities, financial security, and access to educational and professional opportunities. But there are factors that facilitate fulfillment that are in your control like the following: having strong healthy relationships that provide joy in your life, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, overcoming difficulties, gratitude for one’s life, experiencing a high ratio of positive to negative emotions, taking responsibility for your actions, and a healthy balance of work time and personal time. Research finds that the two primary sources of fulfillment are occupation and relationships and community but these are not the only sources of fulfillment. The other sources of fulfillment are recreational activities, spirituality, learning and development, civic engagement, partnership like marriage, and parenting. You can pick the sources of fulfillment that most resonate with you because finding fulfillment is a personal and unique journey. You can take the Fulfilled Life Scale to assess your progress on your personal journey to fulfillment. Fulfillment takes time and self-reflection. The Fulfilled Life Scale is a powerful way to practice the type of reflection that will lead to the insights for action needed to achieve fulfillment over time.

References:
1. https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/why-fulfillment-is-a-wiser-goal-than-happiness-983b1300ab21
2. Brene Brown. Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of the Human Experience. (New York: Random House, 2021). page 207.
3. Baumann D. and Ruch W. 2022. “What constitutes a fulfilled life? A mixed methods study on lay perspectives across the lifespan.” Front. Psychol. 13:982782. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.982782.
4. Matthew Lieberman. “The Social Brain and Its Superpowers.” October 7, 2013. TEDx Talk. 17:58. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNhk3owF7RQ
5. Angela Duckworth. Grit: The Power and Passion of Perseverance. (New York: Scribner, 2016).
6. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1693418/pdf/15347528.pdf
7. https://medium.com/the-mission/want-a-happier-more-fulfilling-life-75-year-harvard-study-says-focus-on-this-1-thing-714e22c99ffc
8. Sheldon Cohen. “Social Relationships and Health.” American Psychologist 59:8. November 2004. pages 676–684.
9. George C. Fraser. Click: Ten Truths for Building Extraordinary Relationships. (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2008). page 178.
10. https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/nlsoy.pdf
11. Christina Feldman and Jack Kornfield, editors. Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart: Parables of the Spiritual Path from Around the World. (San Francisco: HarperCollins Publishers, 1991).
12. Patty Van Cappellen, Vassilis Saroglou, Caroline Iweins, Maria Piovesana, and Barbara L. Fredrickson. “Self-Transcendent Positive Emotions Increase Spirituality Through Basic World Assumptions.” Cognition and Emotion 27:8. 2013. pages 1378–1394.
13. Frederic Brussat and Mary Ann Brussat. “Spiritual Practice Toolkit.” Spirituality and Practice website, https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features/view/27713/spiritual-practice-toolkit
14. Baumann D. and Ruch W. 2022. “Measuring What Counts in Life: The Development and Initial Validation of the Fulfilled Life Scale (FLS).” Front. Psychol. 12:795931. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.795931.
15. https://therapytips.org/interviews/inspiring-wisdom-on-how-to-live-a-fulfilling-life